Just a quick trip

to Publix, that is.

God seems to keep reminding me of His timing lately. I'm a "now now now" person--and that makes it difficult to be a patient child of God (or a child of my mom and dad, too!). I just wish I could remember the sweet taste of waiting on God's timing--surely that would help me with my patience...right? Well, Par is a product of waiting on God's timing--from conception, to birth, to holding him, bringing him home, etc. You'd think that he'd be all I need as a reminder--wow...just writing that reminds me how HUMAN I am--
BUT--with all that said, I am better than I was--and as my golf coach Ms. B once said, "it doesn't matter how far the ball goes, just as long as it goes forward"--(this after I somehow "reverse-sliced" my ball off the tee box into the back of my teammate/bff Charlotte)--but anyway, thankfully--there have been no reverse-slices within my life lately...
So a few weeks ago Par and I met Rusty for lunch at Newks downtown. We sat outside facing the Kirklin Clinic--oh the days of ultrasounds!!! I have mixed emotions about the place--dare I say they are too serious over there? In light of our recent journey with Par, I feel like I have a right to be a little critical--of course everyone needs to be respectful, but sometimes being too serious comes across as cold. Needless to say, we supplied enough comic-relief between the 3 of us (rusty, mom & me). One perineonatologist was especially nice--a parent already--(I assume) Dr. J was warm to us but I wouldn't say "hopeful"--as we have said in the past, we were already told by another doctor that "most people choose to terminate this type of diagnosis"--still, Dr. J followed us until we left for Gainesville--delivering the facts each visit, nothing more, nothing less. The ultrasound tech was especially warm and allowed us a 3-D peek each visit. But the information Dr. J was giving us was very grim--Dr. J offered 50% survival rate, while the measurements actually offered 0% survival rate--(I can't tell you the ache in my heart as I think of all the people who choose to terminate based on this preliminary information). I feel certain Dr. J knew we would lose our son.

Back to our lunch, we were getting our "game on" to show off our "New Par" to Dr. J (whom we hadn't seen/talked to in about a year) and we strutted over to the Kirklin Clinic after we finished lunch. Much to our surprise, the high risk part had moved--and it was too hot to walk. God's timing. We were proud--but a little too proud--
Then today--Par had 2 perfect naps (ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!) and I wanted to run to Publix to pick up something for my SIL (yes, julie, they came from Publix--but the pottery is from Sea Grove)--although it was the worst time to go (pushing 5) I was ready--so we made the quick trip. For once, I grabbed the one item I came for and headed to check out--baby in tow. Then, a few lines away I saw Dr. J. Do I speak? Will Dr. J remember me? I cautiously approached and introduced myself. Dr. J started nodding and said "Look, your baby"--Dr. J wasn't necessarily shocked--but for a doctor that makes a rule of hiding surprised emotions, this seemed like it could have been a statement of utter amazement. We had a quick but informative conversation. I mentioned the word Miracle on more than one occasion--Dr. J never agreed or disagreed--possibly still surprised. We said goodbye. God's timing. I'm not sure why or what may come of it--but something special about that meeting--about the randomness of it--about the orchestration from God on neutral ground (that would be Publix)--Dr. J met a child of God today--a miracle. I hope someday I know about today...but until then, I'm going to try and be a little more still...and know that He is God. :)